Priorities

      Every day we're faced with a list of tasks we need to complete, boxes we need to check, and roles we need to fill. We have our jobs, our families- spouses and kids, social commitments, school, church- just to name a few. Most of us at some time or another have faced the challenge of having to prioritize which tasks and obligations are the most important. Is my family more important than performing well at my job? Is my job more important than my commitments to church? Is school more important than making time for my friends? Is spending time with my spouse more important than time with my kids? Each of our lists are going to be different, even if they contain some of the same things. I have different priorities than you, and that is totally normal.

For me, the roles of wife, mother, and disciple of Christ are the three that I find are the most demanding. They're also at the top of my list for what is important. I have a testimony that no matter what else is going on in our lives the Lord should be our #1 priority. You may not be a Christian, perhaps you're of a different faith, or are spiritual in other ways- but you would probably agree that however you center the direction of your life is hugely important. Now as a wife and mother where these two rank generally changes based on the circumstances at the time, for example my husband doesn't need my attention as much as my kids do when they are sick. As a general rule, though, my hubby and I prioritize our relationship over our roles as parents because the better our relationship is, the better parents we are, and the happier the environment is in our home. I  know many parents who place their children first at all times, and I think that is wonderful if that is what works for them. I reserve no judgement for people who do it differently than I do. 

The longer the list of things we have to do and things we have to be becomes, the harder it is to juggle all of those responsibilities. I often find myself feeling guilty like I am letting my kids, or husband, or clients, etc down. Most of the time the biggest guilt I feel is Mommy-guilt. Now, if you're not a parent forgive me for taking this tangent, but I promise I'll bring it back around to the point I have to make that applies to everyone. Mommy-guilt is awful as a stand alone issue, but paired with my anxiety, it's a real bummer. I can't tell you how many minutes in a day I spend thinking "Maybe they wouldn't have done fill the the blank with any number of annoying or disrespectful things if I was spending more time with them," or "Is this phase she's going through because I'm not noticing something bigger?" My favorites, though, are "I bet Moms A, B, and C don't fuss at their kids like this." and "She is able to cook all 3 meals a day, volunteer at the elementary school, keep a spotless house, and be completely dressed and made up each day- what am I doing wrong?" 

Mom-guilt also comes into play when I'm racing off to teach a Zumba class or giving them activities to do so that I can work out at our house. My oldest always wants to exercise with me, and a lot of days I'm able to let her, but other days I find myself telling her I need space to do my own thing. It is absolutely crushing to see her face when I tell her she can't do something with me. However, I will do it when I need to. 

The thing about priorities is that no one can do everything. Even those men and women who seem like they've got it all together, will tell you that they don't. So what do we do in order to properly get our crap together? It's something I preach about a lot, but the only way to really be able to check all of those boxes and fill all of those roles to the best of our ability is to prioritize ourselves above everything else. I am not saying we need to have a "look out for #1" mentality or that what we want should take place over everything else- I am saying that what we need should be addressed before we make any other decisions or take care of anything else. 

If we are neglecting to take care of ourselves what good are we to everyone else that depends on us? I am no good to my husband, or kids if I am sleep deprived, stressed to the max, and unhealthy. I can't give them what they need from me if I'm mentally, emotionally, or physically on the verge of breakdown. The people and things in your life that depend on you, need you to be at your best. So, what does this mean? How do we apply this to our lives? For me what I have to prioritize is my relationship with the Lord and Jesus Christ, my physical health through exercise, and being open with my husband about how I'm feeling at all times. Making those things my top priorities allows me to, in affect, give so much more and be at such a higher level of presence for all of the other things life demands of me. How should you apply this to your life? Honestly, that is going to be different for each person, but here are a few suggestions.

-Take a nap or go to bed early if you are tired- your brain and body will not work their best when you are exhausted, and tired people are more prone to being ill-tempered

-Have an activity that is unapologetically just for you- this could be exercise classes, a mani/pedi, one hour of daily quiet time with a book, I could go on and on.

-Eat better. For goodness sake you are not going to be able to do anything if you are sick, or unhealthy, or dead. So eat better, please.

-Pray or meditate, or both. Quiet reflection will do wonders for getting your mind and heart right and finding energy to accomplish all that needs to be done. Being centered and find a purpose will help you to move forward while paying less attention to the things that may typically distract or wear at you.

-Say "No." You don't have to help everyone that asks- sometimes you just need to say "no"- running yourself ragged will only make you bitter and take the joy out of serving others. You're not a bad person if sometimes you say no.

-Make lists. When you are truly conflicted over what should take precedence, then write out down and make a list. Then edit it, and re-write it if necessary. You can do this! I know it! xo- Layne

p.s.

An amazing woman that I've known almost 20 years (16 to be exact, but who's counting) has recently started Vlogging about her life and experiences as a mother, wife, and Christian. These are her roles, but not her only roles- she is a working mom. She just recorded her thoughts on Mom-guilt from the perspective of a Christian woman and disciple of Christ. I knew I had to share this with all of you, as she is so enlightened and so relatable. I hope you'll take a look at what she has to say, and if you have interests in parenting, serving the Lord, or a vegan lifestyle (her family is 2 weeks into this change) then I strongly encourage you to follow her youtube channel. Whether you are a believer or not, she is such a delight to watch, her passion is contagious. Here is her video on Mom Guilt for you to enjoy!

To follow Mama Wolff on youtube her channel is HERE.

Health(y) Food

The term health food is so misleading. Often companies will advertise their products as "health food" when in reality it's just "low-calorie" or "low fat" and in order shave the calories they've packed it full of chemicals and things that are way less healthy than pesky calories. So what is healthy food, really? The easiest way to tell if something you're eating is truly healthy is to look at the ingredient list and see how many things you have actually heard of- or better yet, can pronounce. If the number of ingredients you recognize is less than those you do- it's probably not something you want to eat. There are lots of special diets that consist of healthy food- the raw diet, and paleo are just two examples, but it's really not necessary to limit yourself in that way if you don't want to. Educating yourself on things like GMOs, the dangers of soy, what sugar does to your body, and the difference between natural and organic are things that I think are really important. Also, don't be afraid to try and shop healthy. It's not as expensive as it used to be. Grocery stores like Aldi and Kroger are committing to stocking more organic food options at affordable prices. Sure Whole Foods has allure, but I know I can't afford to shop there all the time, and frankly some of their stuff is a rip-off. One of my favorite ways to get healthier food options at reasonable prices is Kroger's Simple Truth line- it's not perfect, but it's almost there, and way better than the alternative.

Right now eating healthy has become very difficult for me. I've been given extreme diet restrictions due to my Systemic Nickel Allergy Syndrome. Most of the easy go-to healthy options are ruled out for me. No salads, no leafy greens, no beans, no nuts of any kind, no oats or whole grains- yikes- it's a nightmare. I also can't eat any soy- which is a sneaky little bugger and hides is SO MUCH. So what am I eating these days? Well, I'm constantly looking for ways to be satisfied and still eat smart. I have found some things that I love and I thought I'd share them with you.


My new fave snacks are That's It bars. They are SO good, and they only contain 2 ingredients. At 100 calories a pop, they're something I feel great grabbing in between meals to curb a sweet tooth or craving. I get these at Kroger- they're pricey at $1.50 each, but it's something I'm willing to pay being that I'm so limited on options. If you have food allergies- these are seriously good. I only recommend the apple and banana if you REALLY like bananas because their flavor is strong. My favorite is the apple and cherry!

Another way I curb my sweet tooth is with vanilla yogurt. I know that Greek yogurt is like "the thing to do" these days, but I honestly can only handle it every now and then. For me I stick with the plain old regular yogurt. When it's on sale I'll buy organic, but most of the time I just go with Yoplait! The only weird ingredient in it is modified corn starch- which means a chemical was added to the corn starch to help it perform in a way necessary for the food- like gelling better for cold foods. Chemicals are never great, but I can live with this- and for those of you that are gluten-free, modified corn starch is definitely still GF. Yogurt is an awesome food to eat for your body, too. Its a great probiotic to help your digestive system and keep you regular! Add some fruit to it for breakfast or a healthy dessert alternative! I can't eat oats anymore, but one of my favorite things I used to eat for breakfast was vanilla yogurt with steel cut oats. Throw 2 handfuls of steel cut oats in the yogurt the night before and in the morning they're soft enough to chew, but still chewy enough to give good texture and help you feel full!

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Fruit is one of the options where I have the most freedom right now. My only fruit limitations are pineapples and raspberries. Lucky for me the whole fam loves fruit, so we've been doing a lot of fruit salads! Grab 3 or 4 of your fave fruits, chop them up and let them sit for just a few minutes to really blend with each other. Yum! I know there is a temptation sometimes to sprinkle a little sugar on top- and I have the BEST solution to that- True Lime is crystallized lime juice and lime oil and it works as the perfect healthy sweetener on fruit salads. A yoga instructor I love introduced me to it, and I'm telling y'all, I am hooked! You'll never go back to regular fruit salads again!

When I want something salty I have 2 go-to options. The first is popcorn. DO NOT EAT MICROWAVED POPCORN. Y'all, for real it is super bad for you. You can trust me, or Google it, because I wont get into the details, it's just not good. When I'm indulging we'll cook our popcorn on the stove in a little bit of canola oil- its delicious. The most low-cal option is to air pop, and air popped popcorn is an awesome snack food if you're trying to cut calories and fat. The other thing I eat a lot of when I need a salty fix is chips and salsa! Now, chips and salsa from Monterrey's may be completely delicious, but those chips are super fried and greasy- so I hate to break it to you, but they're not healthy. Tortilla chips from the store are much better and there are about a thousand different options, so you can find the chip that you like best. The same goes for salsas- my husband makes amazing home made salsa- but we hardly ever have time for that any more. My current fave are the restaurant style salsas- so I feel like I'm eating what'd I'd get at a Mexican restaurant, even though I'm not. 

it's empty because I love it!

For a quick and easy (healthy) protein options I love hard boiled eggs and turkey bacon. Two hard boiled eggs, or 4 strips of turkey bacon are great choices for breakfast or even snacks throughout the day. They're also super easy to pack for lunch to take to work!

If you're trying to eat healthy one thing to do is cut the sodas. This is hard, and I'm not pretending that I don't love my diet cokes and red bull. I'll never pretend to be something I'm not. They're awful for you, though, and if you read my last post you know one of my New Year's resolutions is to drink more water. (I've already had 48oz today, by the way) A great way to ease out of the soda habit is sparkling water. I have always loved Perrier and San Pelligrino, but sometimes I need some flavor and in the past few years have come to love La Croix. They have recently added some new flavors and blends and when I head to the fridge craving a diet coke, I try and grab one of these instead. I really like the melon grapefruit and cucumber berry flavors!

What are healthy foods do you love? Are you in need of a menu makeover? As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and questions in the comments! xo, Layne